"She can do everything" "She's smart" "She's hardworking" "She can do anything efficiently".
No.. She can't do everything.. She's not smart. She's not that hardworking person. There's still some things that she can't do efficiently. She can never be perfect..
She just change.
Who she is today. Is different from who she was in the past.
Who was once a failure.
Who was once a quitter.
Who was once the dumbest.
Who was once the irresponsible person ever.
Who was once a bigger coward.....
Is trying to change... Not to be a better person than what she was in the past. But to go through life.. in the smoothest phase as she can.
It's hard to change. Nothing is easy. She's struggling to change. Struggles that sometime she thought is not struggling but suffering. But that's what she need to pay for being the past her.
If people can see right through her.
They probably can see abundance of times... That she want to give up.
Be it life, chance or everything. Name it. She want to gave it up countless of time.
But she still not. Because she used to feel that times that pass her were abnormal. But now it pass her like it chasing her.
'Dulu aku hidup bagai waktu telah melupakan aku. Sekarang aku hidup bagai dikejar waktu'
It beats her heart harder.
To live..
"She is me. And I am trying to relive again"
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